It Was Terrifying!

In my last post, I wrote about the recurring “psychic attacks” and fairly odd dreams I had as a child and how my mother taught me a very useful defense. After learning this, there isn’t a single dream I can recollect – until I was 22 years old and in my third year of college. Any dreams I had up until that point were normal, uninteresting, typical dreams. Nothing special.

First let me give you a bit of back-story. I feel it’s a bit necessary in order for you to fully understand the emotional and mental state I was in at the time. I started in my first relationship when I was 18 years old. He was my first boyfriend, first dance, first kiss, first…everything. Well we had been going through some…rough patches, to say the least, and had broken off the relationship (this is when I’m 22). I went through a severe depression. For me, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. He and I were now attending the same college, (he had come to the school to be with me), so it was really difficult. My grades started slipping, I couldn’t focus in classes, didn’t want to hang out with friends. Happiness seemed pretty far off.

At the same time that this was going on, I was also living in a two bedroom apartment with a roommate (let’s call her Jes). Jes had taken to staying at her boyfriend’s place and wasn’t around all that much. This left me to my own devices in a quiet, lonely apartment. The depression set in even further. What made it all the more worse was that, Joy, my best friend at the time (well…she still is) and I weren’t speaking either. She and I had had a fight the previous semester while she and I were roommates in a dormitory on campus.

So let’s line these things up. No boyfriend. No best friend. No roommate. I cried a lot.

Here’s where the dream comes in. Or rather, possibly the worst psychic attack I’ve ever experienced thus far. I was home at the apartment in my very sorrowful state. I had been staying up til the wee hours of the night as of late because my depression was causing sleep deprivation, among other things. I can’t exactly recall as to what time I actually went to bed. I had been watching TV and eventually my brain suggested that it was time to rest. I went through the motions. Changed my clothes, brushed my teeth, and left one light and the TV on in my room. Silence has never been comfortable for me. I climbed into bed, dismissing the homework I was supposed to have done. Well, then I slept. But not really.

As I explained in my previous post, when I experience a psychic attack, the dream starts out normal but then twists into something sinister. This was the worst time this has ever happened. I was in a normal dream, unfortunately which I cannot remember. I was probably dreaming of my typical daily activities: going to class, coming home, going to bed. And in the dream, the next thing I know, there’s a growling figure in my room which proceeds to climb on top of my and hold my chest and my forehead down. A loud ringing started in my ears and my entire body, from head to toe, is tingling intensely. I can’t move. Can’t get this, thing off of me and begin to panic. THEN I woke up. The difference this time, when I woke up the thing was still on top of me! I couldn’t physically see it, but the pressure on my chest and head didn’t go away. When I used my ever faithful defense that my loving mother had taught me, it was as if the thing was just laughing at me. It was terrifying! I was paralyzed. The thing finally lifted. The ringing in my ears and tingling in my body started to fade. I was able to look around the room. And even though whatever it was had removed itself from on top of me, I could still feel standing by my bed.

The next thing I did? I ran the Hell out of there! Well… out of my bedroom at least. I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. Sat on the couch and watched TV like a zombie. Even called my (at the time) ex-boyfriend to see if he’d let me stay at his place. No luck that night.

Aside from car accidents I’ve been in, this was probably the most terrifying, jarring, scarring thing I have ever experienced. I didn’t know what this thing was. The next day, I had to mend things with Joy. Because otherwise, I would have thought I was going crazy. I explained to her what happened. She didn’t really know what to do either.

After that night, I didn’t sleep any better – if at all. And when I did sleep, guess what. More psychic attacks. Nothing near as bad as that night, but I still wasn’t getting any rest. I did stay some nights at my at-the-time-ex-boyfriend’s apartment, just because it seemed like he helped block whatever it was causing my night terrors.

Some time later, the terrifying dreams slowed. I was back together with my boyfriend, Joy and I were talking again, and “Jes” had decided to move out. It was my apartment now. Interestingly enough though, the corner of my bedroom where my closet was, was actually physically darker than anywhere else in my apartment. Most of the time I wouldn’t even go in there unless it was to grab clothes.

That’s when things started getting…interesting.